Help...my child has become aggressive and defiant.

by Melissa
(Martinez, CA)

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD over a year ago when she was in the 3rd grade. Prior to a diagnosis, I knew she had issues with attention and I tried all I could in a natural way, but nothing worked for her so with the diagnosis I had her put onto Adderall. For quite a while, about 3/4 of a year, all was fine. School was going better, grades were improving and she was getting more confidence in herself. Here is the problem...mornings are a nightmare!!! She is aggressive, defiant, can't seem to control her body, makes funny sounds and just doesn't care what she says or does. This obviously makes taking the meds VERY difficult and we have screaming/crying breakdowns in the mornings until finally they go down (she CAN'T swallow pills, so the Adderall is in a bite of peanut butter). She then has to take a Omega3 supplement (gel form) and chewable vitamins (these are not such a problem). Within an hour, she is calm again and more compliant. She is very sorry in the afternoon when I pick her up from school...saying she will be good tomorrow, but I know that will not be the case. She sleeps well and is skinny, but an okay weight. I just don't know what to do anymore...I don't want to be around my daughter anymore...those morning antics just ruin me for the rest of the day, and since I know it will be the same thing the next day I just dread everyday. I have already taken everything in the world that means anything to her and she has to earn them back, but she just can't seem to do that either. I just can't deal with this anymore...does anyone have any more suggestions?

Comments for Help...my child has become aggressive and defiant.

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 27, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Drug side effects
by: Anonymous

I do hope things have improved for you since your post?
My daughter started on Concerta when she was 12 and then went on to Ritalin (because she said Concerta made her depressed- I’m sad and ashamed to say that neither I or the doctor really believed her!)
Ritalin seemed to work well at first, but over time my daughter started to disengage from life...and over the summer holidays when she went off it she only wanted to sleep, she was always very defiant then as well and said she hated us for no good reason etc. etc.. When she went back on the meds when school started she was turning into basically a delinquent teenager....
We took her off the meds because we didn’t feel they were helping anymore anyway and then I finally started researching the side effects of the drugs... I was horrified. I finally realised that she was in drug withdrawal during those holidays and had gone into a depression because of the drop in dopamine in the brain, and then when she went back on she became psychotic basically!
I would urge everyone to research these drugs before you put your child on them!! Your doctor unfortunately will not tell you about the real risks. Many children die (and even some cases of murdering their own families!) Please do your own research and be informed! Some of the symptoms you see in your child are caused by their drugs!!
I thank God that I have my daughter back again! She is so much happier and calmer now and so sweet and kind compared to before! She told me that what she remembers about being on the drugs is that "I didn’t know what was right or wrong; I was very angry and aggressive; I didn’t care about anything "
I’m doing all I can to give her the right foods and natural treatments and things have improved SO much! I wish you and your daughter well!

https://www.mediamonitors.net/fda-forgot-a-few-adhd-drug-related-deaths-and-injuries/

Jun 14, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Morning were horrible until.......
by: Anonymous

Getting my child ready for school was horrible. She would sing loudly and dance and make noises that would just irritate you early in the morning. When you would ask her to stop she would not, she was defiant to the point where I just could not take it anymore. I thought there was something wrong with her med's but then I started giving her fish oil with her multi vitamin and I could not believe it. Within a few days she was calm in the morning. She was like a different kid. I truly believe it has to do with the omega 3 fish oil. I ran out of the vitamins with fish oil and just gave straight vitamins for this week and omg it was the week from hell again. We right away got the vitamins with omega 3 and gave those to her. I would think thing swill settle down again. No way am I ever running out of the vitamins with omega 3 fish oil again.

Jun 27, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Wow! This was us 2 yrs ago
by: Anonymous

Hi, I just now found this website and am really glad I did. I am a homeschooling mom of an ADHD child whose 10 and 2 non-ADHD kids. Before we homeschooled my husband and I worked 2 full-time jobs and it was horrible. The morning were never calm or kind. There was yelling, slamming doors, tears. It was awful. The younger children were learning bad behavior from our parenting skills because no one ever teaches you how to deal with ADHD children. School teachers saw a lot of the ADHD symptoms in my son bc unless he was heavily dosed with Adderall (to the point where he wasn't himself) he was in constant trouble. Not getting along with others, not sitting still, not completing work, losing play time, being set apart from the other kids, etc. A lot of prayer and checking out parenting books went into my son. I could never find a book that I felt was useful. Most books are written by doctors who just see "patients" with ADHD instead of an actual mother or father that deal with ADHD kids daily. There are no ADHD support groups in my area and no one in my family has ADHD except my son. Sorry, to ramble, getting to the point, I finally found a book, a short, easy-to-read book, that has helped us understand what happens in the mind of an ADHD kid. The mom who wrote it has 2 ADHD kids and 1 without. She gives wonderful examples of how to teach our kids to deal with their anger and social issues. It's called "Heads Up Helping" by Melinda Boring. I found it at a used book sale and read it over and over again. It helps with my patience and understanding. I've been able to help my son and other 2 kids SO much by simply educating myself on the alternatives to teaching the simplest of things, which aren't so simple to my son. He's not blowing up yelling anymore, he's actually explaining things and teaching his younger siblings, he's getting along with the neighbors children and he's able to do sports too. It's amazing this has happened because aside from medication he wasn't able to do this before. It seems that all I've had to do and CONTINUE to do is explain things to him or show things to him in a way he can process the information. Praise God amd I hope this information helps someone.

Jan 10, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Miserable mornings!
by: Anonymous

I could have written this, word for word. Amazing. DO you have any other children? I feel so terrible that our horrific mornings are affecting my pleasant other child. My 3rd grader fights me and her and is completely horrid until we are half way through the carpool line. Then his meds kick in and he is lovely. At least the teacher and school mates gets the benefits of his nice behavior. I, on the other hand, don't know if I can handle these mornings anymore. The latest "rule" is that if you are unpleasant, you have to sit at another table while you eat. Also, no oatmeal or cream of wheat in the mornings. Too many variables of things not being perfect (sugar, cream, too hot, too cold, too watery, too clumpy...). I don't allow TV in the mornings, but I wonder if i should allow it just so he will be QUIET and eat his food! I spoke with his Dr at Dell Children's on Friday about the mornings, and she recommended getting up earlier to have him take his medicine so that it has a chance to kick in before the morning routine is really rolling. I might try that, as well. I would love to talk to you further about this. No one understands what we go through!

Oct 12, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
my child has become aggressive and defiant.
by: Deborah Merlin

Do you feed her artificial food coloring and or aspartame. These chemicals can cause these symptomsTo learn more check out the feingold diet.

Oct 12, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Here is what to do
by: TJ Chambers

First thing you need to do is to educate yourself. The reason why natural things don't work is because they are not addressing the issue.

People treat natural remedies like they are medication (this is for adhd, take it and you will be fine).

Thats not how it works.

This is the book that you must get. Victory over ADHD

It is going to teach you all the basics.

This supplement changed my life and made me more calmer and made me happy instead of moody. ADHD Liquid Vitamin

Gummy vitamins are not going to give the vitamins and minerals that your daughter needs. Your better off not buying them. This liquid is amazing.

Look at what this mom said about it with her 5 year old son Mom's Thoughts on Liquid Supplement

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to ADHD Message Boards.








Recent Articles

  1. First day on meds & I'm terrified

    I've had problems with ADHD for as long as I can remember and we've been considering meds for a long time but today I finally took my first dose and had

    Read more

  2. Depression and ADHD: Taking stimulants and still super tired

    Diagnosed with ADHD and more recently depression. I started taking Zoloft 2 years ago while also taking concerta. Neither was doing much for me so I switched

    Read more

  3. Help on handling spouse with adhd

    Hello all 1st time posting on a site like this.. my wife has been diagnosed with ADHD, Bi polar, PTSD, and OCD. We have been married for 20 years and

    Read more

  4. Memory problems without afternoon dose of Adderall IR

    I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7 years old & I’m currently 29 years old. My life kind of blew up/fell apart in March 2015 when I had been on 20mg

    Read more

  5. Diagnosed with ADHD at 44 and Having Issues with Adderall

    I've recently been diagnosed and prescribed Adderall XR 30mg. First dose...6 hours of calm and clarity like I've never known, then 30 hrs of terrible

    Read more